Emotions is one of those areas that most people do not fully understand and in
most societies, is not fully expressed. 

In coaching, I find that all clients
have "emotional blockages"  that prevent them from achieving goals. 

We all have 'upsets" and when dealing with these upsets, we need to be able to rationalise what the upset is about and how it is affecting our lives and those around us in order to achieve our chosen goals.

It is critical to seek professional advice for dealing with emotional challenges.  In a recent episode of 'Survivor', host Jeff Probst had to deal with a angry, raging contestant, Brandon.  All the upset Brandon wanted to do was physically attack and fight with another contestant Phillip.  Brandon was feeling depressed and missing his family. He stated that he wanted to go home and no longer wnated to be in the game.  His anger was triggered by Phillip attempting to tell Brandon to trust him and he, Phillip, would let him, Brandon, know when it was time to leave.

Brandon saw this as a threat and, in his mind, was not going to have Phillip or anyone else for that matter in charge of his, Brandon's, destiny.  The situation became very volatile and Brandon went crazy in the camp destroying essential food etc which of course upset the entire tribe. The tribe was very traumatised and all agreed to throw the challenge and send Brandon home.

At the challenge, Brandon wanted to fight with Phillip.  Jeff handled the situation with professionalism and empathy.  He isolated Brandon into neutral territory, talked him down and kept him away from the others while the situation was discussed.  Brandon was sent home and everyone was able to calm down.

To anyone watching these events, Brandon would appear to be psychotic.  We will leave that assessment to the psychological experts.  The point of this story is to consider the intensity of the emotional reaction.  The discussion with Phillip "triggered' a massive upset that once Brandon is rational, he will be able to analyse with the assistance of a professiona.  The question for Brandon is  what belief system was challenged by Phillip's staements?  From there he will be able to examine and possibly set about changing the "compromised belief system" in order to grow and learn.

The challenge for every one of us is to look at who and what pushes our buttons and realise it is an emotional upset caused by a compromised internal belief system.  Once we can look at these upsets objectively, we can then decide what needs to change in order for us to progress our goals.

Coach Julie
 

Relationships are very complex and yet are the heart and soul of how we connect and communicate with other living beings!  We have relationships with every living being around us and it is important to know how to work with our human ones and especially those that are a bit dysfunctional. 

The most common issue I come across in coaching is people's relationship with themselves.  Most people come to coaching wanting to "fix" their dysfunctional family relationships and learning that it starts with them, is often the biggest hurdle............

A recent client was complaining about how hard it was to juggle her time around her 2 kids, a boyfriend, ex-husband, sister and a full time job.  She had no time for herself and had no idea how to regain some 'me' time.  Sound familiar? 

The first thing I told her was that she was all alone and the only person in the world with this issue!!!  That statement snapped her out of her negative mindset and allowed her to then focus on positive actions to reinvent her relationship to gain some balnace in her life.

The second part of the session was to explain boundaries and how to negotiate them.  I set her an exercise to do around this concept to define her boundaries and set a preferred schedule for time with herself and her family members, both individually and together.

The final part of the session was to determine timeframes and accountability for her to complete the agreed actions and support her remotely while she had some very tricky conversations to complete.  The biggest change is that she has now taken full responsibility for her relationship results and is learning to remove herself from other people's dramas so she can respond objectivley to their demands while valuing herself first.

The result has been fantastic and she now feels empowered and in control of her life again. Over the next few sessions, we will monitor progress and tweak anything that is not working as well as she would like. 

Coach Julie

There are so many Self Help Products and programs available that it is hard to know what to choose.  We often get asked for recommendations for products and programs and this can be difficult because so much depends on your own personal awareness
In this article we will give you some tips for selecting your product or program 

To determine what to purchase follow these steps:
 
1.    List all areas of your life.  Now rate them from 1 to 10 with 10 being the best you can imagine and then some!.  List at least 5 life areas
2.    Select the three areas of your life that scored the lowest.  Now list all the "pros and cons" for each of these three areas.  List at least 5 for each
3.    From your long list of 'cons", identify the three biggest 'stress points' in that list.  You may find at this point that a pattern is emerging!  Now take some time to write down what you want to change in that area that will remove the stress.

You now have a shopping list to fulfill.  Once you have identified the key areas of improvement, look for products and/or programs that solve the main problem areas you have identified.  The Goodies section of this blog may provide some solutions for you.  if not, check out our self help website for some alternatives:
http://www.personaldevelopment.publicsets.com/

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Julie

There is also a very cold nip in the air first thing in the morning and I am concerned about how cold I feel on the chest after a swim.  The last thing I need is another bout of pneumonia!  The water temperature is still good and will stay reasonable through April into May.  Needless to say that I haven't been keeping to my swimming regime so have been getting in 3 walks of 20 minutes per week.  This has been tough with a chronic asthma condition as breathing is short and the condition is aggravated by the high humidity.

Some days are worse than others and I have volunteered for a clinical study on a new antibiotic treatment for asthma.  Am determined to seek answers and keep playing soccer this Winter.  Am now looking for a local heated pool to continue swimming through the colder weather because I noticed a big improvement when I was in a regular regime.  It would be easy to give up the challenge but I am determined to keep going and persevere!

Julie Ashton

Wow it's been more than 2 weeks since my last post!  Where has the time gone?  I have been flat out marketing my business academy, attending conferences and expos and helping new clients to get started on their business plans.  It's been a roller coaster for these last couple of weeks and I am kicking off the year with a bang as a result!

The challenge is what happens to exercise when your normal routine cannot be accommodated?  The recent wild weather has closed  the beaches, the surf pool is dirty and murky, the venues I have been at do not have the facilities of a lap pool and I really did not want to turn up at a professional business expo flaunting snorkel and flippers!   Well here's how I adapted my exercise routine to fit with these busy times.

Step 1 - acknowldege that I love my 3 swims a week routine and had to accept that life just gets in the way sometimes!

Step 2 - identify achievable alternative forms of exercise as well as what type of food would be available so I could keep on a good healthy eating regime

Step 3 - ensure that I had packed good working and walking shoes for each event

Step 4 - plan plan plan!  even with the best of plans though, things don't always work out to your ideal.

I managed to walk for at least 20 to 30 minutes every day, got in 2 swims when I was home and between events.  I also lost 3 kgs despite lots of "conference" food at fancy hotels that really weren't on the plan but were too delicious to pass up!  The best news is that my asthma has barely needed treatment, despite a lot of heavy humidity and moisture in the air (up to 90% some days!).  The walking was easy and comfortable and my lungs coped really well. even on 85% tp 90% humidity days! 

Still don't feel ready to try a short run, however, soccer training will start soon and I hope to be ready to try a short sprint.  Next week is back into routine and I will resume the swimming as it is really helping to improve these lungs a great deal.

Coach Julie

I am swimming 8 continuous laps!  Bit of a struggle in the last few days thanks to 90% humidity, heavy rain and unsafe surf conditions. When the humidity gets this heavy, it is hard to do anything of a physical nature and it is best to rest.  Have been doing lots of stretches and pilates exercises indoors as I even got a bit muscle sore after the last swim!

Will continue with this regime for at least 2 weeks and then consider what the next level will be.  Do I lose the flippers, add some more laps, add walks to other days or increase swimming days?  It is a hard choice and one I will ponder for a bit while I consider what feels best for my body and lungs to continue their recovery journey.

Feels great to have found a way to be active and it is hard for me to remember that slow and easy is the way to take on this challenge.  There will be no fast remedies for this one! :)

Julie Ashton

 

Jan 7, 2013  Got up to 6 laps today.  Still need a break after each lap but getting a bit easier already

Water is lovely and inviting

Jan 14, 2013.  No swim today, We are having a bad heatwave and it's way too hot for any exercise.  Ashthma is getting bad.  Back on the cortisone this week

Jan 21, 2013.  Weather has cooled and back  in the pool today.  Managed a swim on Saturday , but needed lots of rest.  Today got up to 8 laps with only a 30 second rest between laps.  Excellent progress!  

Really concentrating on my breathing rhythym, especially the exhale.

Why the sudden rise in popularity of self-help books? Are people really having that much success through the self-help practitioner’s ideas on how to live a better life?

For some people the advent of these books has been a godsend.  For other people
these books have propelled them along a line of successive failure.

Take the example of Amy*, whose living room bookcases are packed wiith the“Self-Help” genre. Unfortunately Amy’s story is a sad one, but highlights the problems
encountered by a great deal of people trying to cure themselves of many self-defeating habits.

How the journey began…
The first time Amy popped her head into a self-help book she was overwhelmed at
the possibilities the book suggested. If the cover wasn’t exciting enough, the index read like a roadmap to life renewal. Every phrase spelt out clearly that success could be hers for the taking, as long as she didn’t miss a beat and stuck rigidly to the program!

To read the full story, download a copy here